Ah, the joy
of Twitter! Still not a phrase that trips lightly off everyone’s tongue but in
my case (with the very occasional exception), Twitter has been a revelation; the
breadth of contact, the scope of exploration, associating with a group of like
minded individuals with an enthusiasm not just to explore the fineries of the
whisky experience, but simply to connect, to share, to enjoy each other’s
company without any geographical shackles, has been a hugely positive experience.
The primary driver for me to become involved was to connect with fellow whisky
passionistas and to deepen my knowledge of all things whisky. This remains the
primary driver but I have come to enjoy those moments where I move out of the
whisky domain and into other arenas. Getting to know the people behind the
whisky has been (and continues to be) extremely enjoyable.
For me, the
interpersonal connection is one of the most seductive elements of the
Twittersphere. It is no exaggeration to say that the experience has, in some
small way, strengthened my belief in the essential goodness of humanity.
Yes, there are exceptions, yes, there are some thoroughly reprehensible
individuals in this world, yes, I may be labelled as somewhat naive, but it is
what I believe and as such, for me, it is valid. When my mum died last year I
posted a short statement saying that I was raising a glass to her memory.
Within minutes there were a flurry of condolences and people raising their
glasses to someone they had never known. “Any
excuse for a drink” I hear you cry! But for me, at that moment, I was able
to forget any cynicism......and it felt good.
I may muse
on the philosophical elements of the Twitter experience later but for now I simply
wish to revel in the sheer diversity and “surprise journeys” that I have taken
during my time on this medium.
In terms of
this exploration, I will use my tweet/tweet responses to illuminate the area
being addressed. I don’t feel comfortable include other tweeters’ writings
without their permission and, whilst I don’t feel that they would object, to
seek their permission would take an inordinate amount of time. I will include a
“list of protagonists and suffice it to say that those referred to in this piece
fall into the category of “twitter friends”. The snapshots that I offer do not
tell the full story of their valuable and continued contribution to the whisky
fabric (* see footnote).
With regard
to diversity where do I begin? Twitter has transported me into my childhood,
into imagined futures, into alternatives presents, into cultures that I was
ignorant of, into the homes of people from all 23 corners of the globe, into
their eating habits, their pastimes, their jobs etc. It all sounds somewhat
voyeuristic but that’s not the feeling that I take from it. These are shared
connections, information offered freely, often stimulating, generally
interesting, occasionally irritating, and frequently amusing. If you don’t like
what someone posts, a flick of the thumb and you can skip on ahead (digital
democracy if you will).
.....................................................................................................
Twitterthread no 1: “You can’t prosecute a whale for having a
shit”
This
particular thread began with an innocuous request for information, but ended up
taking the protagonists on a journey through the surreal, the slightly vulgar,
elements of International law, the fashion industry, illuminations from the
natural world, and questions around the logistics of faecal collection. Jon
Beach (@maltwhiskybar) initiated the thread. I was immediately hooked as, coincidentally, I’d seen the object in question on a nature
programme only two days earlier.
The
protagonists: @whiskyrepublic; @maltwhiskybar; @OliverKlimek; @wimvlonhuijsen;
@galg; @Whiskylassie
The comments
in parentheses were not included in the original thread but have been added as
context for this post.
Question: @maltwhiskybar There's someone in
our Coffee Shop with a lump of this. It's incredibly expensive. Anybody care to
guess what it is?
Answers:
triple folded omelette (good guess)
It's an animal by-product. (narrowing down the options)
It's not for eating! (see previous comment)
Then it could be a geode (...getting intellectual)
Methinks
it comes from a whale...Ambergris perhaps (ah...now let’s
move on)
If it can be verified as ambergris it could be worth a fair amount of
money! (capitalism...filthy lucre with a nod
to the need for accuracy and fairness)
He's getting it checked this week. It stinks! Really stinks! (oh
dear....a change of direction is on the way!)
Some discussion as to what “ambergris” actually is
ensued. There was a little debate as to whether it was whale poo, snot, puke or
sperm!
It can be puke or shit. Heavily sought
after in the perfume industry. Needs to be chemically ratified. (a combination of technical
information using language from the gutter, connection to a global issue, and a
need for scientific rigor)
omg!? It's whale vomit??? (the horror....the horror)
Stale
whale shit is dabbed on ladies faces to enhance their attractiveness! (let’s get surreal....)
Better for your face than any cucumber mask! (the surreal and the real combining to strengthen
the surreal imagery)
I can't afford ambergris, I use
dried squirrel shit. (What!...where’s
this come from? The thread is heading South!)
I'll stick with kopy luak (back to the
intellectual with clear knowledge of the natural world.)
Is
kopy luak Israeli for squirrel shit? (I’m not done with exploring my squirrel shit!)
hell no. It's the shit of those Sumatran cats
coffee (sounds surreal but it’s not!)
By
"Sumatran Cats" do you mean hip & trendy Sumatrans? (There’s a punster at work here, probably in
his/her early 50’s with fond memories of free love and the late 60’s early 70’s)
Selling it could be a problem. Isn't this stuff
essentially outlawed? (Back to serious,
filthy lucre, and the law!)
Don't
think so xxxxx. You can't prosecute a whale for having a shit! (Hello surreal, goodbye serious!)
It's a different story with Bears in the woods! (Interesting
addition! Are we entering the realms of the philosophical?)
You could
make aftershave from stale bear shit - "Grizzly - pour homme" (Apparently not!)
Trade is supposedly prohibited due to Washington
Treaty. Whale hunt etc. (But I want this to become an exploration of
global trade, capitalism, the necessity for regulation in a world gone mad!)
How
big would a whale "pooper scooper" have to be? (I WANT IT TO BE SURREAL!)
....................................................................................................................
The thread
itself is very short when transcribed but you have to bear in mind that the
“conversation” may span hours or even days, with time zones often playing a
part in when people are able to contribute. As with many Twitter threads, the
humour, in part, derives from the time lapses, and the point at which different
protagonists pick up the thread. Sometimes it’s like the “Two Ronnies”
Mastermind sketch where the contestant answers the question before last. (I'm also aware that some of you may have found this post to be completely devoid of humour, but hey ho, you can't please all the people.......)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvmRI6K8TS8
(watch and enjoy)
I first came across the term “whisky fabric” in my twitteractions with @Whiskylassie (Johanne McInnis), valued friend and one of the
most passionate of the “twitterdrami”
